Divorce Tips

Divorce is unquestionably one of the most disturbing experiences any human being can ever
have. The ending of a marriage is tragic enough. Even more devastating is the manner in which
most divorces are handled once lawyers get involved.

Divorce tends to bring out the worst in people, and the legal process of ending a marriage more
often than not fuels animosity. The fallout from a poorly managed divorce can have a crushing
impact on both parties and their children, which can last a lifetime.

Divorcing intelligently is about coming out intact legally, financially and emotionally. It’s
possible to do, by avoiding the pitfalls and mistakes that commonly occur when most people get
divorced. Sadly, some of these difficulties are the result of legal advice that escalates conflict,
and complicates what could otherwise be a smoother transition to settlement and a new life.

To get divorced in New York State, certain requirements must be met. If you were married in
New York and lived here as husband and wife, or if the cause occurred in this State, you can get
divorced as long as either party has been a resident for one year. Alternatively, these conditions
are satisfied if the cause of divorce occurred in New York, and both parties are residents at the
time of filing, or either has lived here for two years continuously prior to court action. Once your
divorce is finalized it is valid throughout the United States.

You also need “grounds” to get divorced in New York. Grounds are the reasons for divorce. In
New York, there are six grounds. Of the six, only one does not involve a claim of fault against a
husband or wife, and that is a voluntary separation agreement.

The remaining five grounds are: adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, suing your spouse for
separation, abandonment, or a prison term for one of the parties spanning three or more
consecutive years after a couple is married. You should know in advance that the Courts make a
strong effort to steer people away from disputes about fault. It’s much more productive to work
with your spouse voluntarily to settle.

In addition to grounds, the issues of maintenance and property division apply in every divorce.
Maintenance is income you will either pay to or receive from your spouse to support the pre-
divorce standard of living, and ease the transition to separate households as much as possible.
Property division involves “fairly” allocating the assets you both owned through the marriage.

If you have children, there will be three additional issues to address. These are child support,
custody and visitation. Child support is money paid for the care of children. Custody determines
the children’s living arrangements, and whether one or both parents will be making important life
decisions for them. Visitation is the time the non-custodial parent is allowed to spend with the
children.

The principles below cover strategies for helping you obtain the best possible outcome with these
issues. The emphasis is on approaching your divorce in a way that is thoughtful, non-antagonistic
and negotiable. This way of proceeding has helped many people take a painful and perplexing
situation and achieve a result that’s financially beneficial, protects children and retains personal dignity.

These ideas are not a substitute for solid legal advice and other professional help you need to
navigate the divorce process well. They are methods to discuss with an experienced matrimonial
practitioner, to determine the most favorable ways to resolve your particular legal and financial
challenges.